Feeling Good?

What are issues in the world that are really important to you? How much does it impact your life? How often do you support that cause? 

These are questions that have been nagging me lately. Mostly, because my answers to these questions were contradictory. For instance, the first question: what issues are important to me. That's an extremely easy one: suicide prevention/help/support. I was hit very hard, very personally by suicide and it stays with me on a daily, hourly basis. Many things I do in my life are a direct result of being affected by it, whether good or bad choices I've made, it stays with me. Which basically answers my second question: how much does it impact my life. It impacts my life the way a bullet  impacts. Sharp, extremely painful, and constant. Constant. It can be rough, very rough. It has made me feel alone, belittled, unloved, disrespected, crushed, guilty, etc. I could go on forever. But it stays with me. Now, the last question: how do I support that cause...well, that brought pain to me. Because I haven't done what I'm capable of doing to support the cause. I could write down all of the excuses, but at the end of the day, it comes down to simply facing it. I haven't wanted to face it for multiple reasons.
But I've changed my mind. It took years to buck up, but finally, I have. I'm hoping there is support behind it. I was struggling with asking for donations until I talked to my family and a friend of mine who reminded me that I'm asking for money to support a cause I'm very passionate about, not asking for money to support my peanut butter addiction. So I decided, why not? Let's do this.
So I've sent out my letters, begging for support, and posted the donation link on facebook. What I can't believe is the people who have responded. It makes me incredibly proud and grateful and incredibly sad also. Why sad? Because suicide affects so many of us. And I hate that. If you've read my previous posts, you're starting to get an understanding of how much other's pain affects me, which is a lot. But it's okay. I truly don't mind this burden.
The reason for this blog? To tell you all that with everyday that passes until the suicide prevention walk, I'm becoming more confident and proud to do this, for ALL OF US.
So yes, I'm asking you to take a step back and look at what you can do to answer the questions above and feel good. Because feeling good while doing good is truly the best.

<3

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