Kind of feel like I'm falling apart right now. First off, don't be surprised. If you talk to me regularly, you know I'm not at the top of my game, and am feeling pretty shitty about it. Do you ever feel like the world is ganging up on you? Like you can't catch a break? Well, 2013 has been my pitfall so far. But, I guess it's early in the year still. My days are long and lonely, and I feel like I'm grasping at straws right now. I'll keep fighting though. Fighting for some sort of contentment.
So, the bright side? Ha, bright side. Right now, it's hard to see. But, this is not the worst I've ever felt. Silver lining, right? At least with what I've been through, I can honestly say 'This is not the worst I've experienced.' However, doesn't mean a girl doesn't panic and doubt herself in the worst possible way. I find that I become very quiet when I'm doubting myself. I withdraw. Probably so I can focus on crawling out of the hole. Maybe because when you're down, being alone makes sense.
I guess this is where I ask the universe for a break? I need a break of some sort. Or maybe this is some sort of awful test, the one I missed out on picking up the study guide. I have to figure something out. I'll figure something out. I've managed this far, right? I'll find my way. Whether crawling or walking, I keep on keeping on.
it's funny...we haven't REALLY talked in a while, but i feel like we're always moving in the same direction, with the same hang-ups, at the same time. from my parallel universe to yours, i wish you that lucky break!!
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“Pain doesn’t make anything, nor does poverty. The artist is there first. What becomes of him depends upon his luck. If his luck is good (worldly-speaking) he becomes a bad artist. If his luck is bad, he becomes a good one.”
ReplyDelete~ Charles Bukowski